Ain't It Funny Rhett?
by Queen of the Harpies
Summary: A song fic of an encounter between Rhett and Scarlett after the events of Gwtw and Scarlett.


Author's Note: Yes. Some of you may have read this before. This is a re-post. I happened to be looking at my profile and clicked on this one day. Much to my surprise, the format was totally screwed up. Not to mention that the actual writing was horrible…even for a comedy. So I pulled it up and re-tweaked it. Here it is…the song fic based off of GWTW. The song is "Ain't It Funny?" remix by J.Lo and Ja Rule. In this story, I'm assuming all the events from "Scarlett" happened except Rhett getting her back and the whole Cat birth. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own "Gone with the Wind" or "Scarlett".  That pleasure belongs to the estate of Margaret Mitchell.

      One very fine day in Atlanta Georgia, Scarlett O' Hara/Hamilton/Kennedy/Butler was sitting on the stairs of her Peachtree St. House, much like she had done after Rhett had left her. She sighed. It had been a few hard months, but she decided that Rhett was a major ass, and so she got over him quickly. She had been to Ireland (She also conveniently met all the characters from Scarlett, including Anne) Once again, she sighed before standing and began walking up the stairs to her room.__

_~*~_

_Haha_ it must be the Ass__

_That got me like damn_

_If it get any fatter_

_Man the rule gonna hafta get at her_

_And our situation won't matter_

_I come to make you smile_

_In the freakiest landers_

_J to the L-O_

_Hello, no I'm not be harmin' y'alls wall_

_I'm the rule in the shot call_

_Off the wall _

_Like MJ in his early days_

_It's the achin' Lopez now_

~*~

Rhett Butler stood outside the door to his and Scarlett's old home, thinking about the time that had passed since the infamous night where he uttered "Frankly my dear…" speech and left out into the fog. Yet in these past few months, he had (as always) felt a calling for Scarlett, and decided to come back. He knew Scarlett would fall at his knees, and it wouldn't matter the situation of their personal life at all. He put a hand on the doorknob, turned it, and entered while calling "Scarlett, I'm home!" He saw her standing on the stairs, mouth agape. Well, he always knew he was good looking, but c'mon. Why wouldn't she say anything?

~*~ 

_Ain't__ that funny_

_It's been awhile since you came around _

_Now ya wanna see what's goin' downTryin' to tell me how ya want my time _

_Tryin__' to tell me how I'm on your mind_

_See it never had to be this way_

_You should of never played the games you played_

_Now I'm seein' that you're kinda lame_

_Knowin__ how the situation changed ___

~*~ 

 Scarlett saw him there, mouth moving with excuses. He missed her, she was on his mind, and never mind the fact that he had left her, but he was back and that's all that mattered, and would you care to get re-married? 

She was in shock. She searched for something to say in reply…anything! She wanted to run to him and jump into his arms. Then, she felt it. The anger. It swam up from somewhere deep in her stomach and flowed red hot life into her tongue. She opened her mouth and said "Look Rhett, it didn't have to be this way! You shouldn't have played the games you played. You were always going out to Belle Wattling's whenever we had a fight instead of staying to work it out! You married Anne when I was over in Ireland. Now that she's dead you expect me to just jump into your arms? Tough luck!"

~*~

_Ain't__ that funny_

_Baby that you want me, when you had me_

_Love is crazy, now I can smile and say_

_Ain't__ that funny_

_Baby that you want me, when you had me_

_Love is crazy, I'm glad I can smile and say_

_Ain't__ that funny _

~*~

            Scarlett paused to smile and then continued talking to a very shocked Rhett.   

            "Isn't it funny Rhett? You had me all those months ago, begging at your feet, yet now you want me? That's just too damn bad! Love must be the trickiest thing!" 

~*~

_I remember how you walked away_

_Even when I tried to call your name_

_See at first I didn't understand_

_Now you're lookin' like a lonely man (lonely man)_

_I remember how you did me wrong_

_And now you're hurtin' cuz my love is gone_

_Everybody gets a chance to burn_

_You can take it as a chance to learn_

~*~

            Rhett was shocked! Scarlett with a resolve of feeling towards him? This was not how it was supposed to go at all! He started walking towards her, but she put up her hand and began to speak again.    

            "Remember that night? The night Mellie died? Well, I called for you, I ran after you to this house, begging you not to leave, yet you did anyway. See at first I had no clue what I did wrong except to foolishly love Ashley. Yet here you are, looking all lonely because I don't love you anymore. Everyone gets a lesson to learn in their life Rhett. Mine was to not foolishly chase after your sister-in-law's husband. I burned for that and you can burn too! Take this as a lesson learned." 

~*~

_I really wish you wouldn't send me gifts_

_Tryin__' to make me sit and reminisce_

_Tryin__' to buy me with your blingin' bling_

_Thought I told you love don't cost a thing_

_Hope you realize that now I'm through_

_And I don't ever wanna hear from you_

_I had enough of bein' there for you_

_Now I'm laughin' while you play the fool_

~*~

          Rhett walked forward and said "Scarlett, I know we can work things out! Frankly my dear…I have gold! Gifts and money! I know you always liked money, my dear. I'll give you bonnets from Paris and everything else! Anything you want, just take me back!" 

            Scarlett shook her head, and spoke again. 

            "Listen Rhett, you may try to blind me with your money and everything else you have but I've learned that love doesn't cost a thing. So don't even try it with me."

            She paused, smiled again. "Try and give me a remembrance of dignity in our marriage and just leave! I'm through with you! Get over it! Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn about what you feel at this point." 

            Rhett was shocked. His gleaming eyes were now merely lack-luster. His own "Frankly my dear" speech had been used back against him. His bags dropped from his hands, and one burst open, leaving snap shots of Anne scattered all over the carpeted floor. 

~*~

_Baby, I got my boyfriend_

_Is that your girlfriend_

_But maybe we can be friends_

_La da da da da da_

~*~

            Scarlett sneered and said. "Isn't that your "wife" Rhett? I couldn't marry a widower. I have Charles, that English guy back in Ireland, so I have a boyfriend. Maybe we can be friends but that's that." Scarlett turned her back on him then. She smiled slowly to herself before walking up the stairs. 

            Rhett watched her go. He was dumbfounded. Shaking, he turned and left that house, never to return! 


End file.
